Times Like These

Hello world. I realise it's been a long time since I sat down to do this, partly because I was back in England for the past three weeks. I'm sure (at least I hope) you'll be glad to know that I am okay.

I've done so many drafts and so much thinking for this blog that it will probably never turn out how I want it to. So much time has passed and so much has happened, that there's a risk that it will all just come spilling out from my keyboard. I will try my hardest to write some well chosen words.

I feel that I'd be cheating myself if I didn't start with the most recent important occurrence.

I know what it is to have your heart broken, but I also know what it is to truly love, and to be truly loved.

There's one word which, ironically, I can use with certainty: confusion. Let's say it's an epic battle between brain and heart. As a hopeless romantic (and dedicated watcher of Disney films), I have always been led to believe that you should always follow your heart. At the moment they seem to take it in turns to win.

There's no amount of words, however powerful or well chosen, that could do justice to the last two and a half years, so I'll just say this. 
The good times truly were the best times.

As with any relationship that doesn't end in a screaming row with each party throwing crockery at each other, there's just an over-riding feeling of emptiness.

We each seek comfort differently. For me, comedy and music. Not Adele, or all that cliche break up music that just sends you spiraling into a state. Strangely, I seek a lot of comfort in Demons by Fatboy Slim. Simple and the tempo gives you time to breathe. That and Fleetwood Mac - my old friends.

If there's one thing I've learnt, and there's plenty (oh, why can't I go back in time?), it's how much focus and determination I have. It's time to channel that in a different way and focus on myself for a while. Some of you will know that I have some big plans in store, but I don't feel that it's fair to share them on here just now.

I will, however, share some of the smaller goals I have;

- Get fit, and get FIT.

- Pick up my guitar again

- Swim like a fish

- Throw myself into opportunities at university whilst I can

   (a goal I had set myself previously)

- Always assume the best, instead of expecting the worst.

It all comes down to a simple fact. I am a social butterfly, and I've been in a bell jar for far too long.

I think that recapping the events of the past few weeks is a hopeless task, so I think it's time to leave this here. I just wanted to thank all of my friends for their kind words, and Damien for two and a half years of unconditional love.

You lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones.