Grievances

So I've had a pretty shocking week and an even worse evening. My timetables changed this week and apparently this is too much to handle for the poor Frenchies. On Tuesday, I was asked to come in at 8 in the morning (even though my next lesson was at 1) to do some mock oral exams (no one laugh at oral, IT'S NOT FUNNY) with three kids who had not shown up to their original times. One kid turns up. Waking up at 6:30 in the morning for a 15 minute lesson, well worth it. Stella start to the day. 

Then at 1 o'clock, off I trot to a literature lesson I usually quite enjoy. Turned up at room 207, not a person in sight. I waited there, making up excuses in my head [had they all been held up by a mysterious fire breathing dragon in the corridor, or perhaps all been taken hostage by a gang of men in balaclavas in another classroom?]. Investigating mode on, I ventured to the school reception and asked if there had been a change of classroom. Typical French response: Well, not that I know about, but I don't deal with classroom changes, that's the classroom changing woman's job (I mean, seriously. Is that a WHOLE job?). I wait outside her room for 10 minutes, finally admit defeat and go to each room on the English department. Still no sign.

I resign to another 4 hours in the staff room (yes, 4 hours), where the literature teacher approaches me, laughing, [yes, LAUGHING] and says they had a change of room. Thank you, man on reception. Plucking up enthusiasm for my next lesson at 5 o'clock, I ask the teacher of this class if she had told her students "oh yes, they will come to you one at a time". Brilliant. Finally get some teaching done after staying at the college for 6 hours already. 5 o'clock came, 5 thirty came. Alas, no students. 10 hours, for 15 minutes of lesson. Fantastic.

All throughout this week, there has been a distinct lack of communication between teachers and students, resulting in a complete waste of my time. 

And then, this evening. Had my tutoring lesson with the kids from hell, but this time, with a difference. I had a spy. One of the mothers (whose child is seriously weird by the way) tried very hard to "discreetly" sit in on my lesson. At the end, when the other parents came, she then decided to review my lesson with the other parents just behind my chair, basically saying my lesson was shit and the kids don't give a shit either (how much can you do with children from the ages of 4 to 8, when all they want to do is colour things in and play hide and seek?). I think perhaps she got me confused for a deaf person because I actually heard everything. Following this, she then made no effort to politely try and get me to leave my getting everyone to say goodbye to me and opening the door so I could leave and they could have a good old bitch. Perfect.

Following this, I thought FOOD! Broccoli and cheese pasta bake, to be precise. All I can say is White Sauce: 1, Becky: 0. I then proceeded to spill a ton of oil on my floor. Hey, why go to an ice rink? Why not just risk your life and neck in my kitchen instead?

As a result of this disastrous week, I really feel in the mood to list some of my grievances with some French people.

Grievance number 1
Okay, you do not see me writing "fwah grah" instead of foie gras or fondoo instead of fondue. In case you had not worked it out yet, IT'S ROAST BEEF, NOT ROSBEEF.

Grievance number 2I understand that EVERYONE is busy in France, but is it really necessary to make me wait 10 minutes for a loaf of bread while you bitch to your friend? Customer always comes first France, when will you learn!?

Grievance number 3So, it's a common stereotype that French people are rude. If you must insist on acting so indignantly whenever this is mentioned, then do try and steer away from said stereotype. If you bump into someone, it's polite to say "sorry", if someone tells you to be quiet, it's usually polite to be quiet.

Grievance number 4
Oh the French, why must you insist on being so damn right blunt about everything. Can't you just adopt the English bumbling ways and pretend that you're at least trying to save people's feelings.

Grievance number 5
Please stop staring at me, and tell your child not to as well. I am not a martian and if I have a bogey on my face, it'd be kinder just to tell me.

Grievance number 6
Okay, what is actually with the administration here. It takes 3-4 months to get anything done. Things are passed from person to person, you have never given in the right combination of documents, you have to wait half an hour to actually see anybody. It's okay though, it's not like I wanted that extra 200 euros a month...

Grievance number 7
Without wishing to run the risk of sounding like an OAP, damn the kids here are so disrespectful. Hey, kids! When someone talks, shut mouth, open ears.

Grievance number 8
Dear France, if you really think that saying "bonjour" to someone in the street, or leering at them in a bar, in the hope that they're going to fall head over heels in love with you, makes you the most romantic nation, you are wrong. Sincerely, Irate English Girl.

Grievance number 9
Why won't you let your children be children? Why must they all do so many extra-curricular activities that by the weekend, they can't even enjoy their free time?

Grievance number 10
Stop closing your shops at lunchtime. It is PEAK TIME for people to buy things.

And with that nicely round number 10 (although my grievances are definitely more numerous), my rant is over.